Penthouse

So much, and yet so little has changed. To the untrained eye, the place looks just like how it did back when I was a kid, back when I came up during the summers to water the plants and to check on how the flowers were doing, back when there was still Arvie to visit.

This place probably has been the only constant throughout my life and it strikes me that the last time I have been up here was so many years ago. Funny how a place can contain so many memories--some even way back from my kindergarten days.

I don't remember much of my childhood--only that I spent most of it in my Ama's, but visiting this place today reminded me of those times I would come up here with my Aunt to enjoy the night breeze and to gaze at the stars--while eating some ube ice cream. Yeah. Seems like ages ago.

I also used to come up to practice Intrams dance routines. I used to come up here to write. I also used to come up here to visit Arvie..to draw..to play with my cousins. It is so much connected to who I am now, and it almost seems as if it is a kaleidescope of all the emotions and thoughts I have felt during the times I were here.

If a single place were to define me, then I guess this would be it.

Exchange Gifts

Braving long lines at infamously inefficient government offices (kinda reminds me of a certain administrative office in Ateneo) is not exactly one of my favorite past-times. Waking up early in the morning to wait in line with hundreds of people in the scorching heat while the time passes by oh-so-excruciatingly slow...I'd rather sleep in on any given day. I wasn't looking forward to this at all. But then again, if I don't do it, who will?

Being the eager beaver that I am, I already went ahead and got some requirements ahead of time. I don't have a clue about the process involved in securing an NBI Clearance or what I need to bring. But most important of them all, I had no idea where to get it! Which is normal. My knowledge of government offices equals zilch and usually I just turn to Google Maps for a quick answer. Nor did my mom. Now that wasn't a good sign at all.

Thank God my dad knew someone who knew someone where they issue these clearances and knows these processes. Aren't connections wonderful? We took the LRT and we were with a couple of policemen in uniform. I didn't know why they had to be in uniform--for maximum shock value, I guess? It was quite an experience. I felt so bad-ass having these "bodyguards" while walking around the crowded streets of the metro. (so that's how it feels) But then again, I also felt weird. If you know me, I was never one to make a splash; I prefer to be noticed by being subtle and not being over-the-top. Yet here I was, walking with two uniformed men with people gawking and staring. Right.

Anyway, the whole process took less than 2 hours, including travel time. Which is really really fast considering that government offices are usually full of people even during the early morning. But the thing that struck me the most was that it was my first time to witness "exchange gifts" not during Christmas season, if you know what I mean.

The office personnel processed my documents in a jiffy-no lines, no waiting. And in return, I think he got a free ride home or something. All throughout the process, personal favors were called in, names were dropped, calls made, and cell phone numbers exchanged! I have never encountered this before and needless to say, I was flabbergasted. Is this how it works in the "real world"?

I hope not! 'Cause if it is, then life would be just a contest of who knows who, who knows the most people, who's the most well-connected rather than life being the way you make it--through hard work, perseverance, and dogged determination. 'Cause if it is, merit just goes straight out the door. The day that life ceases to be a meritocracy will be a sad sad day for us.

Call me idealistic and naive, but I don't think I'll be availing of this "service" anytime soon. But I wonder, will that even make a difference? Will a lone person making a personal choice affect the system that has grown its roots through centuries of practice? Some say that I'm stupid for not using whatever tools are at my disposal. But I beg to differ. A very wise person once said, "Be part of the change you want to see in others; otherwise you're just part of the problem." I'm sure it was somebody famous who said this, but I forgot who it is. I don't want to be accused of plagiarism, now do I? :)

Side note: I wonder how many "favors" and perks some officials enjoy.

How A Phone Call Changed My Life

Last week, I got a call from an unknown number on my cell phone. And like any other recent graduate, I know better than to ignore it. For all I know, it could be the opportunity of a lifetime. And so it was. One of the companies I so wanted to get into called me for an interview--scheduled the next day! Kind of abrupt I would say, but I'd be a fool to let an opportunity like this go to waste. As people say, you never know what is on the other side. 

The next few days were a blur. HR interview the next day and panel interview the next. I wasn't used to the application process being so quick. Usually it was the other way around, I'd have to practically beg the HR person to give me updates on my application. But this time it was different, and true enough, a couple of days later, BAM! they offered me a job. 

It wasn't a no-brainer, but it wasn't a hard decision to make either. It was a good company with a reputable program that would enable me to go places in a few years. Plus the compensation they offered me wasn't too shabby either--not too much, but not bad for a first job. And although I have never been one to go with intuition, when I stepped in the office for the very first time for the interview, I just felt that I was supposed to be there, like I belong there, like the feeling I got four years ago during the Ateneo Open House. 

And so three days ago, I signed away two years of my life! Funny how a few strokes of the pen in my hand, a couple of signatures here and there, can determine my future. And thus ends my being unemployed. Goodbye sem breaks, goodbye spontaneous beach trips, goodbye bum life, goodbye insanely long summer vacations and hello income taxes, hello overtime, hello rejoicing over holiday economics.

Even though I was ecstatic about landing this job, and believe me, I am very grateful that I did, somewhere in the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder if I had made the right decision. As one of my favorite theology professors once said, "In saying yes, we also say no." However, there is always a but after every statement, and true enough, the very same professor continues to say that, "in choosing we simultaneously become capable of imposing our will on an uncertain world in the sense that we get a say in how our lives play out, and that by doing so we become most fully ourselves. It enables us to grow and mature and become capable of turning possibilities into actuality."

I kinda like the sound of that. That amidst the uncertainty of life, I am still capable of being able to make mere possibilities a reality, of being able to live out my dreams while I still can, of youthful optimism, of home, and of the confidence that someday I will be able to strike out and make it big.

And who knows, maybe someday I just might!