Top of the World: Part 2

Feb 8. The Assault

3AM. Already hard enough to get up at this ungodly hour as it is but the cold made it doubly hard to get out of the (sleeping) beds. It was even colder than the night before (around 5degC)! But we gotta do what we gotta do. Eyes on the prize! By 4AM, everyone was bundled up in bubble jackets, gloves, and scarves and was ready to go.

Group photo. Photo by Alex U.

Armed with our headlamps, trail mix, and some water, we set off and started the climb to the summit to witness the sunrise. I thought the climb to the summit would be a breeze compared the trek to the campsite since we won't be carrying anything heavy but was I wrong. As we went further up, the air began to thin and Mark and I found ourselves stopping more and more frequently the closer we got to the top. 

More than an hour in, and still no summit in sight! But there's no other way to go but up and at this point there's no turning back. With the wind whipping my face, I tried to steady my breath as I trudged on. One foot in front of the other, taking extra care to not fall off the side of the cliff. 

Somewhere farther up, someone began to call out left for assault (shorter but steeper) and right for the longer but easier way up to the summit. Since Mark was in front, and since I have zero navigational skills, I let him lead. Which turned out to be a pretty bad decision because he unwittingly chose the ASSAULT. 

Mark and I "assaulting" the summit. Photo by Mark G.

That last stretch going to the summit was painful and tiring to say the least. It was so steep, Mark and I were down on all fours. Every five steps, we literally had to sit down and take a rest because we were panting so hard. It was so exhausting that upon reaching the summit, Mark just plopped down and lied down on the grass. 

After catching our breaths, we joined the others. It was still dark and the stars from last night were still out. To feel so close to the stars, as if you could finally reach out, and cheesy as it might sound, I just have to say it because no other words can describe it as well as the next few words can…"And in that moment, I swear I felt infinite."

A couple of minutes later, a tinge of orange finally appeared on the horizon…dawn is breaking. I don't know if it was my imagination but I could've sworn that a hush fell over us. Everyone had their cameras ready as the sun made its grand entrance. 

At the Break of Dawn. Photo by Tarin T.

Breathtaking in the truest sense of the word, it was every bit as beautiful as people said it will be. And you think to yourself, how lucky it is that you are alive, to be witnessing what is nothing short of a miracle, to be part of something greater than yourself. Maybe this is what it means to be nowhere but in the present moment. To be content. To be perfectly calm and at peace. To feel truly alive.   

Panoramic Shot of the Sunrise at Pulag Summit. Photo mine.

Of course, this view deserves a photo op... of my feet. shoes. whatever.  

Thank you for taking me all the way up here! Photo mine.

And some more…

"I Go to Seek a Great Perhaps." Photo by Ivan L.

And some more…

Pulag Class of 2014. Photo by Glen C.

And some more...

Sea of Clouds. Photo by Ivan L.

After a few (possibly a few hundred photos), it was time to head back to camp to have breakfast. Even though we just passed through this path a few hours ago, everything looks so different in broad daylight. I swear I could hear the von Trapp family singing, "The hills are alive with the sooound of myooo-sic." 

Photo mine. 

A little over an hour (with no rest stops in between no less!), we made it back to camp with the oh-so-sweet smell of breakfast wafting through the air welcoming us back. It was literally the most well-deserved breakfast of sopas and hotdogs. After breakfast, it was time to pack up and break camp. But before we started the loooong trek down, of course we had to take that one last group photo together to cap off our wonderful #Pooplag experience.    

Complete "family photo. Photo by Glen C.

Everyone was in high spirits to say the least. And surprisingly, even I found that the descent was not as hard as I dreaded it would be. Less water breaks, less rest stops, more slipping and landing on my butt moments… who knows, I might be getting the hang of this? Instead of the usual 3.5 hrs, it only took 2.5hrs! And yes, I have to brag, I was no longer the sweeper and was actually one of the first batches to get to the ranger station. Achievement unlocked! 

Ranger Station: Opportunity to freshen up and fatten up before we continue our way home. 

Photo by Tarin T.

The rest of the day went by like a blur. The ride to the DENR Station+the ride to Baguio was quiet. I guess fatigue and drowsiness were catching up on people.

Before you know it, we were already in Pangasinan where we had our dinner break at Jollibee. I cannot express how happy I am to finally have one of my all-time favorites: CHICKEN JOY! not to mention to be back in civilization! (No offense meant, Pulag was all sorts of wonderful but I miss them indoor plumbing!!!)

With our tummies and hearts happily filled (with food and memories respectively), we set off on the last and longest part of the trip -- the ride from Baguio back to Manila. Drifting in and out of sleep, I was only vaguely aware as we passed by the different provinces until finally  we were already back in Manila. 

A few stopovers later, I was back home reunited with my bed, my dogs, and my beloved CR. I never realized so much can happen in a little under 12 hours. And while I was unpacking,I came to a realization that this trip, more than a test of strength, was a test of willpower, of how far you can push yourself to take one more step, when every inch of you is screaming no. Sometimes, you’ll never know just what it is you’re capable of until you’re faced with a situation that pushes you, simply because there’s no other choice. I might not be the most fit I've ever been, but to be able to survive this trip, is something that I'm truly proud of. 

Till the next adventure, 

H.

P.S. Some of the friends we were with made videos to document our trip. Links here: 

Video by Eena S.
Video by Brad P.

Video by Vagabond Pinas

Top of The World - Part 1

(Decided this would too long for one entry, so decided to post in 2 installments :) Also, since I wasn't able to bring a camera, most of the pictures here were taken by my friends.Tried to be as accurate as possible in citing. Let me know if you'd want to get in touch with them. Thank you!)

At the beginning of the year, I vowed to myself that this year will be a year of many firsts. To travel and to explore. To seek new adventures. To chase down things that both thrill and scare me. To say yes to being truly alive. I was inspired to take on the new year, and to take on the world too, for that matter. I was bitten by the travel bug, and the familiar has become too bland, too boring, and too dreary. 

So when a friend asked me if I wanted to climb Pulag, I immediately said yes. Never mind that I had no physical training whatsoever. Never mind that I know absolutely nothing about hiking. Or about surviving in the wild. All I could think about was the thrill of endless possibilities and a new adventure. 

Taken from Pinterest (http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/dc/dc/0a/dcdc0adcac576179d0ff2175c0dcbd3f.jpg)

Feb 7. The Day Has Come

A few hours before the trip, I found out that there had been a bus accident that morning that left more than a dozen people dead and even more people injured. (God bless their souls.) Which left me really anxious and apprehensive. But I still decided to push through with the trip. So after taking a shower in Kath’s condo, I met up with Mark and had dinner with Steph in Elias before heading off to El Pueblo where Mark and I were supposed to meet up with the rest of the group.

Although I knew a lot of the people in the group, I was still a bit apprehensive. Of all the times, my usual friendly self had to choose that particular moment to hide. Good job. Or maybe I was too anxious and preoccupied. After settling a few last minute things, we were finally able to leave Ortigas at around 10PM. I guess it was more convenient that our group decided to rent vans instead of taking the bus to Baguio. At least we had privacy even if I wasn’t really able to sleep much on the 6 hr ride to Baguio. Around 4AM we arrived at the Victory Liner Station to Baguio where we were to transfer to our jeeps.

Photo by Alex U.

(Yes I gave in to the Strawberry Taho. I asked Manong to lessen the syrup. Yummy in my tummy for only Php30!)

Angelee and I enjoying our warm cups of Strawberry Taho. Photo mine.

After 1.5 hrs of winding roads, we had a stop-over at Country Road to have breakfast. I had Purple Rice + Adobo + Banna. Since it was too early in the morning, I wasn’t able to eat much. L

After filling our tummies, we headed off for another 1.5 hr drive to the DENR Station for a briefing about the do’s and don’ts inside the park. (The only upside to that 1.5 hr drive.)

View from our jeep. Photo mine.

After the short introduction, it’s off to the Ranger Station where we will begin our trek. (Not getting a porter: one of the proudest decisions I made in my life. More on this later.)

My friend Mark and I taking some pictures while waiting for the others to get ready. Photo by Alex U.

And so with only my backpack filled with bare essentials and a little courage and determination in my back pocket, I set off and began the three-hour trek up the mountain. Within the first 10 minutes I was already running out of breath. I was seriously rethinking my decision not to hire a porter. But I was too stubborn and to proud to take the easy way out.

Photo by Rachel L.

Every so often, we’d meet people on their way down from the campsite and they would always say encouraging words, that the view was amazing, it made the climb worth it, that we were already close to the campsite, etc. Well if I were to guess, it was more probably because we looked like this!

Are we there yet? Photo by Alex U. 

I did not know how I made it, but I did it! Even though I was one of the last to make it to the campsite, the feeling of relief and exhilaration is just beyond words.

Looks like we made it. Photo by Ivan L.

Most of us were too tired and opted to nap inside our tents while our guides from Vagabond Pinas prepared our lunch.

Trying to annoy Mark G. while he naps. Or eats. Photo mine.

After lunch, some started “unpacking.” And since we have nothing on our itinerary, we decided to explore the surrounding areas. And yes this meant taking more pictures!!!

Goofing around with Kem L. our resident mow-del. Photo mine. 

Since it was getting a bit dark already, we decided to go back to the campsite. Because we were bored… we played charades! HAHA and even a round of Riff-Off ala Pitch Perfect.

Before you know it, it was time for dinner. If there’s dinner by candlelight, there’s dinner by headlamplight and there’s dinner by starlight/moonlight. Even though the fare was simple, eating while standing, eating while squatting/sitting on the ground, it was quite an experience altogether. Nothing beats holding hot steamy bowls of food while huddled close to each other under the light of the stars.

Dinner is served. Photo by Alex U. 

By this time, the temperature had already dropped; nevertheless, we decided to go stargazing. It was such an amazing experience that even now, almost a month later, I still find it difficult to find the right words to describe it. The first few moments that you gaze up the stars,your mind goes completely blank for a few seconds. And then comes awe. And then peace. And in that moment, nothing else matters than being in the here and the now. As you marvel at the thousands of stars that dot the sky, you feel an absolute sense of calm, that somehow you feel that everything is all right in the world. That tonight, everything is exactly where it should be. 

Under the Stars. Photo by Ivan L. 

(to be continued...)

Hey Parker

We choose to deal with our pain a certain way.  No one can judge us for that. And if other people don't understand, it's okay. Sometimes, we don't even want sympathy or empathy. Sometimes, what we truly want is to be left alone. Yes, even in our grief, we find space to be selfish. 

There is no escaping the disease. Yes that is 100% true. Slowly but surely, it will run its course. Oh how I wish it won't, but even now, I can already see the stark difference. It's not just the physical deterioration, but it's also how it has already started scraping away at your soul. And how it has been chipping away at your resolve. 

More than just robbing you of your health, the disease has started robbing you of the quiet dignity of growing old. It is an uncomfortable humiliation that no one should ever have to face. During those last few years, what do you cling to? Ideals? Or perhaps your identity? Most of it has already gone and you are left but a shell. It has already stripped you bare of everything that you were, and the person you used to be now only live in the memories of your loved ones, and of the people who knew you. 

Realizing this fact alone is enough to make a grown man break down. To see something happening before your eyes yet remaining powerless to do anything. What can I do? I see the panic-stricken eyes that spell out fear more loudly than you can ever shout. No, you will never be able to shout. I feel the urgency in whatever weak grasp you have on my arm. I sense the frustration as you garbles out unintelligible words trying to get yourself to be understood. Everything's just become a cruel game of charades. A game that we can keep trying to play, but which we're sure to lose.  It's hard to believe that the person I once knew is underneath all that. 

It breaks my heart to see you smile, only because I know it doesn’t do justice to how you used to be. And every moment that you’re happy is tinged with sadness, because even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t help but think how many of those we will have left. 

Yes, there is no escaping the disease. But there is also no escaping the love. I see it in the little adjustments we make to make sure we spend the holidays together as a family. I see it in the effort Mama puts to make sure you are prepared and informed to make the decision, however difficult it may be. I see it in Brandon in the way he comes up to you and kisses you on the cheek. 

But most of all, I see it in the way A-kim never fails to attend to you, to make sure that you are well-fed, that you are comfortable, and that you are given only the best. I'm sure she never saw this coming when she married you almost 50 years ago. Ever since your sickness started, the world as she knew it was obliterated and her whole world has suddenly started revolving solely around you. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it must be for he to be the strong one in the relationship and how emotionally taxing it is to walk by your side on this journey. Yet she shows no signs of anger, nor does she complain about how unfair this situation is for her. She might have made a few misinformed choices and I might not necessarily agree with all her decisions, but I'm sure her intentions are pure. Wanting what's best for you every step of the way, I see her love expressed in the things she does for you, big and small.  

 

It may be an imperfect kind of love, imperfect, but love nonetheless. 

"Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me."

14 for 2014: Resolutions

I know I've said that I want to write more often countless times before, and most of the times, somehow before the first quarter of the year is over I end up not writing at all. But I guess, the important thing is that I keep trying? :) 

2013 has been all kinds of wonderful--from the people I've met, to old friends, to new old friends. 

Photos (Clockwise): 1. Coron 2013 (Denise Q.) 2. Coron 2013 (Denise Q.) 3. CGPG Christmas (Rica Y.)

To new places I've had the chance to explore, and to old places I keep coming back to. 

Thailand August 2013 (Rica Y.)

To new things and to new hobbies. 

First photowalk ever (Alex U.)

To renewed passion and faith.

#WOWMNL #TBSPreppyChristmas (Louie Y.)

To family.

Macau December 2013 (Zelle T.)

To everyone and everything who's been a part of my 2013, thank you. 

Hello 2014, I think we're gonna be the best of friends. 

This year, I tried to do things a bit differently. For the first time, I have actually made and written down resolutions.Yay me! So here it is without further ado, my 14 (Resolutions) for 2014!

FAITH: To strengthen and to keep the faith in times of sorrow and despair, and also in times of peace and prosperity. 

• Spend QT religiously. (Pun intended, HAHA!)
• Complete a fast. (for the right reasons)
• Attend Simbang Gabi.
• Learn to listen and wait. Trust in His plan and be patient. Stop insisting to do things your own way. His way is infinitely better

HAPPINESS: To pursue whatever catches my fancy, whatever makes me happy, to live in each and every moment fully

• Try as many new things as I can. (It can be something as mundane as trying a new restaurant, or something more adventurous like climbing a mountain.)
• This year, I will learn how to swim
• Travel and explore. (Enough said.)
• Write regularly. Revive the blog and post at least once a month. (With the many trips I'll be taking this year, I don't think I'll run out of things to write about. Oh well, there goes that excuse.)

LIFE: To start living a life I can be proud of, to start taking baby steps to becoming the best person I can be.

• Be more generous--with time, gifts, words, and gestures, even when there's no reason to be. 
• "Run in the direction of your fear." Or at least stop and consider before fully saying no and taking off in the opposite direction when confronted with something that scares me
• To not let work be the end-all and be-all of my life. My work does not define me. Repeat 1000x until internalized.
• Save money. 
• Appreciate the small things. Take time to always be grateful for the life I've been given. (Blessed.)
• Fix the resume. Stop procrastinating
• BONUS: Get a favorable evaluation and a promotion. 

So there you have it, my first ever resolution list. Here's to friends and family helping me to kill it! 

Till the next adventure, 

H. 

What You Say You Are

Words are more important now than ever before-- doesn't matter how old you are, if you are male or female. In this day and age, when social media has made everyone believe that you, yes you, have a voice, that what you say matters, and that people actually give a shit about your thoughts and opinions, what are you gonna do about it?

Picture not mine, taken from: http://socialmediahelp4u.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/social-media-bandwagon1-300x242.jpg

Be heard. Say it loud, say it proud. But most of all:

Picture not mine, taken from: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m28ti4LWdb1qz6f9yo1_500.jpg

Easier said than done. Being able to do so means actually believing in something, knowing where you stand, your beliefs, your values. It requires knowing who you are and what you believe in. Because if you don't, then your voice would just be part of the cacophony, devoid of any meaning. That which should or could have been a beacon of hope to others, or even a call to action, would only be lost in the sea of chaos and confusion.

So now, I sit and ask myself, who am I? What do I believe in and what do I stand for?

I know who I am in the most simple of terms, but thinking about it more actually had me confused. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced I don't know myself at all. I am such a mass of contradictions that I find it hard to put down on paper. Ask me about my opinion and mostly it will be it depends, save for a few non-negotiables. Doesn't mean I'm incapable of deciding, it's just that things are rarely black and white anymore.

And then I realized, I am so much more than a list of traits, characteristics and values I believe in.I guess I know more of myself as I go through every experience that life has to offer. My history is a part of who I am and ultimately, it plays a role in who I will be.

I shouldn't fidget around and think about whether doing this or that would be in accordance of who I think I am and who I think others think I am. It's simply not going to play out like that.  In a sense, I know myself better than anyone else but at the same time I don't know myself at all. So why should that stop me?

2011: The Year That Has Been Awesome

First post for the year 2012! Woot!

 image taken from http://datacommunication2011.blogspot.com/2011/12/merry-christmas-happy-new-year-2012.html


Too bad I'm writing it in a semi-unhealthy state. First lesson for the year 2012: Everything in moderation. Too much of a good thing is bad. I learned it the hard way.  I ate too much and drank too much during Media Noche that I spent the first few days of 2012 sick and nauseous. What a way to start the year right?

Speaking of lessons, the year that has been has been such a great year. So without further ado, here's a list of lessons/ things I'm grateful for/ whatnots from the top of my mind and in no particular order:

1. Graduation
Those awful all-nighters that you spent rushing to finish essays for Theo and making outlines for Philo orals, days and nights spent in Starbucks Katip cramming LS Mock Defense Presentations while thinking about gimmicks that could possibly tilt the grades in your favor... just thinking about it makes me dizzy! But that feeling you get when you hand in that final requirement at the end of your LAST hell week is just liberating. Nothing can describe it nor compare to it.
Marching on that glorious summer day with friends and batchmates knowing that you've all survived 4 years of terror profs and hell sems and seeing your parents faces beam with pride has got to be one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.

2. Ateneo de Bora 2011
After the hard work, comes the partying! 5 days of tropical heaven! It was undoubtedly, one of the best adventures of my life. I tried helmet diving, riding on a sailboat at dusk, conquering the flying fish, island hopping, sleeping all day, and partying all night! That summer, memories were definitely made! But you know what they say, "What happens in Bora, never happened." ;)

3. Landing a job
As much as I would have liked Bora to last, after the summer escapade comes the real world. I entered this company in June as part of the MT program, right when classes were about to start. New place, new friends, new people. Seven months down the road, a few mistakes there and a chock-full of new experiences, I can say that I have indeed learned a lot. I have travelled to most of the major cities in Luzon, became friends with people from there, sampled local delicacies, slept alone in hotel rooms, got stuck in Isabela (I never wanna go back there again) because my flight got cancelled, commuted to Manila via a bus on my own, helped execute a program, started doing weekly reports, the list goes on and on. Although I might not know exactly what I really want for now, I'm thinking, maybe I'm getting there. :)

4.  Cebupacific, Zestair, and other affordable airlines
THANK YOU! Thank you for making it possible for young people like me (who have only started to work and do not have that much money) to travel! Because of you guys, I know for sure that my 2012 won't be boring. Thus far, my calendar is already dotted with trips locally and abroad. Fingers crossed that everything goes according to plan!

5. Starbucks
Oh Starbucks what would I do without you! From hell weeks in college to catch-up conversations with friends to sleepy days in the office, White Choco Mocha has always been there for me. I'm so addicted to this drink that I've even converted a few non-Starbucks drinker friends into devotees of White Choco Mocha. I should get paid for this. HOHOHO.

6. Having my own car
Not having to compete with thousands of others during rush hour? Enough said. Not having to pay for my gas, even better!

7. Friends new and old
This year has been a year of meeting new people but it doesn't mean that I've forgotten the ones I made along the way.This is the year that has tested the bonds of friendship. Not seeing each other everyday has been hard but I'm glad that despite the busy schedules, everyone is still up for a dinner, movie-date, party, what-have-you.

8. Toffee and Mochi
My bibis are just the cutest. And smart too! I'm lucky enough that my mom FINALLY agreed to let us have a dog. I love them, they love me. End of story.

9. Free Time
One of the perks of working? Not having to bring work home and being able to not think about work once you get home. Granted there were times that I had to break the cardinal rule of never bringing work home or never thinking about work while home, but overall, it is less tiring than college--at least less tiring than senior year. Having time to do what I enjoy and having time to do the things I missed doing while I was in college is a godsend. It's only now when I've started working that I'm able to watch TV, go to the gym, and read books without feeling guilty.

10. Family
Everything I mentioned above is just made perfect by my family. I'm such a lucky person that my family's complete and is safe and sound. As anyone who knows me would tell you, I'm a very BIG family person that this is just a humongous blessing I am thankful for. Every single day.

P.S. Love life na lang ang kulang! HAHA :))

Try-it-out Tuesdays

I like how December has been a month of firsts. This early I can tell how it's going to be an awesome month!

Last Tuesday, looking to do something to break the monotony of the workweek, A and I decided to eat out for lunch. North Park was value for money as always but A was craving for something sweet so we decided to go to Serendra and get some cupcakes.

image from: http://visitpinas.com/cupcakes-by-sonja-serendra-bonifacio-high-street/red-velvet-vixen-cupcake-sonja/

It was my first time to try Sonja's Red Velvet Cupcake  and I must say it's a mouthful of GVs! I can totally see myself getting one to pick me up when I'm having a bad day. I'll almost go as far as saying that it's tantamount to a cup of Starbucks coffee. And in my book that's a pretty great feat considering how I adore Starbucks' White Choco Mocha.

Tuesday after work, before dropping off A at Serendra for the weekly badminton game, A and I decided to get our brows done at Browhaus for the first time! For someone who never tried threading before, the experience wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and I guess it also helped that it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Plus, the ate who was doing my brows was very reassuring and helpful. Note to self: Must get her name when I go back.

I am loving my new brows! They feel rejuvenated and alive and if I may say so, they frame my face nicely and they don't make me look so sleepy or angry all the time. My sister has even been constantly badgering me if I got it semi-tattoed because it looks more solid than scattered.

Okay enough brow-talk, if you have the time, and if you don't mind shelling out a bit more cash than usual (but trust me it's going to be worth it!) visit them at the 2/F of Serendra!

image from: http://www.justcreamy.com/2011/05/brow-shaping-experience-at-browhaus/

Not bad considering it's only just December 6! Life is just an adventure waiting to happen and here's to more adventures to come!


P.S. Thanks A for accompanying me on my many firsts! :) 

Money Mondays

Nov 28 2011

It’s a Monday yet again and with Mondays come the dreariness of another work week. Esp. if you had a not-so-stellar weekend. I actually had a pretty laid-back weekend planned out for myself. A couple of TV shows and a good book to read and maybe a mani-pedi. SOLVED. If you’re wondering why I didn’t’ go out , it’s because 1. I was/am still under house arrest; and 2. I don’t have any more money to spend. (well fine, I still have some but I just didn’t want to spend.)

Anyway, I spent most of my Saturday being a regular Martha Stewart—cooking and doing arts and crafts. Around mid-afternoon, I was about to go out to have a mani-pedi when I checked my wallet/pouch and realized my money was missing. Two frikkin thousand pesos that I set aside to pay for my plane ticket to Bora gone in an instant.

I don’t even know who took it or if someone did take it. Knowing it’s something I worked hard for just made me feel worse. Granted I can always earn it back, but what bothers me is that someone unjustly benefited from something I earned. Come to think of it, this reminds me somewhat of Kant’s ethics. But I’d rather refrain from talking about anything Kant-related, I might say something stupid. HAHA

Anyway back to the missing two grand. As of now, I still have not found it, and honestly, I don’t think I ever will. I’ve written them off as bad debts expense. I’ve asked the house help to turn the whole house upside down just to search for it. It’s amazing how much trouble I would go through for just two simple pieces of paper. Damn.

But hey I still am employed and I’ve got it good so who am I to complain. Besides it’s almost Christmas and Christmas is a time of giving. 

CHOS.

Rainy Days and Cups of Coffee

The past few days have been somewhat dreary, you know, those days when you don't really feel like doing anything, which explains why I haven't been writing as often. What an excuse HAHA. Anyway, there's just something in the air that makes me want to snuggle a bit longer when it's time to wake up. Must be the weather, must be cause Christmas is just right around the corner. Whatever the reason, it's getting harder and harder to wake up in the morning! Damn it. Which brings me to my next point. It's such a pity that I love sleeping so much (yes I am a self-confessed sleepyhead) because there's so much stuff that I wanna do in life that I feel like sleeping is actually a waste of time. Except for the fact that I love it so much. Oh did I just say that again? HAHA Point made!

Living in the here and now is actually such an incredible experience. Endless possibilities present themselves before me. I feel so empowered in the sense that I can actually do something about my dream and turn them into reality. The only problem is which dream?!

image not mine

So there, I'm blogging so that I can chronicle my dreams, aspirations, WTF moments, memorable experiences, feelings, musings, and everything in between. It would be nice to look back in a few years and see what the hell I was up to a couple years back and if I indeed got to achieve my dreams. Or maybe see just how differently life turned out from what I first envisioned it years ago.

Now that I have more time on my hands (aka since I dont go to school anymore and since I dont spend every waking hour cramming reports, presentations and papers), I don't see why I can't do it. But first things first! I'd love nothing more than to sit back and relax with a cup of cranberry white choco mocha and a notebook to sort out my life or just kick back and read a good book in Starbucks. I swear I love that place so much I could spend hours in there! I've even converted friends into Starbucks lovers!
Ah life's simple joys. :)

To be continued tomorrow... :)

11.11.11

image not mine

The 11.11.11 post came a bit too late. I got caught up in the whirlwind of what happened yesterday!
Thursday night I purposely stayed up late to check out Zestair's 11.11.11 sale because I had to buy a return plane ticket from my summer destination next year. Had I checked online earlier, I would have found out that the travel period would be for Jun-Oct 2012. Damn. So instead of wasting the effort I made to stay up late (yes it is an effort for me being the sleepyhead that I am), I checked out twitter and BOOM Cebu Pacific just announced a seat sale at that instant!

I immediately called my friend J who is in Palawan and we both ended up booking a flight to Hong Kong for less than 2300. Not bad for a round trip. Not bad at all! We also got another friend A to come with us. Crazy I know!

I'm not necessarily a big fan of the whole 11.11.11 thing. Too me, it's just numbers and they don't hold any meaning. But I gotta admit, the fact that it only happens once a century is a pretty cool thing.


Ten, twenty, thirty years from now, I'd be able to look back and say, "Hey I booked a flight to HK that day just because." And just like that I had a sudden realization: every day is an 11.11.11 in the sense that it won't happen again. Every day that has passed is a day that is lost and that which can only be relieved through memories.

Cheesy I know, but I guess it was just one of those things that you always knew but took for granted. Something that you'd need a personal experience to make you realize something more than you've already understood before. Do I make sense? Basta.

Anyway, in that instant, I got inspired to be more spontaneous. To see the world. To taste it. To feel it. To live life on edge. Because life is just too short and because I can.

I'm tired but am happy because I'm home and about to enjoy good food.

So if you're wondering why the title to this post is ridiculously long, read on and you'll get it. :)

Sometimes I wonder how the world would turn out to be if all of us had a ticker tape on our forehead with our mood and emotions displayed on them for the whole world to see. Warning: Not in the mood. Do not piss me off. Or: I am ridiculously happy today. You can ask anything of me and I’d probably say yes. Or: Ho-hum mood today, I need a picker-upper. Or: Extremely feeling needy and clingy. I need a hug.

No more hesitating when dealing with people you don’t know that well, or people you just met for the first time. At the same time, you can take advantage of the impossibly good mood of people to get them to do what you want.

Would that’s just be awesome?!

But then again, wouldn’t that be also just so damn inconvenient? Imagine having the following sentence flashing on your forehead while talking to someone at work or in school: I am so irritated with the way you’re acting right now. Can you just jump off the face of the earth? God forbid it’s your boss. Or your professor. HELLLL to NO!

Or imagine being in an interview and this is what you felt at that moment: I feel gassy right now. I’d just die of embarrassment if that were me.

Then again, I think that sometimes it’d be just downright depressing. Because then, there’d be no hiding from your emotions. There’s no denying it anymore. It’s printed on your forehead for crying out loud. HAHA.

Humpday Wednesday

This week just feels too long. And I think I might be coming down with something. Blame it on the long weekends into fooling our only too willing bodies into thinking that we only have three- or four-day workweeks. It's as if my body is rebelling HAHA.

On another note, today has pretty much been uneventful. Just a regular Wednesday at work. The only interesting thing which happened was that planning for the company Christmas party started. I wanted to be part of the design team because I've always wanted to live out my David Tutera tendencies. Sayang. Oh well. Maybe next time. There's always a next time. I hope. Besides I think I can also do a great job in the committee I volunteered for. We'll see. :)

Speaking of Christmas, can i just say Christmas is sooo sooo near but the only place I've felt even just a tinge of the Christmas spirit is in Starbucks? Uh-huh. Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to share with you my realizations and thoughts but stupid me forgot to send the file over to my email. Oh well. Tomorrow. I promise!

All for the Love of a Signature

Too many thoughts running through my mind. I can't even form complete sentences. There's just a whirlwind of thoughts that I need to jot down in its pristine state before anything else taints it, because then these memories won't just be chronicles of what happened today, they would now become the things I want to believe to have happened. Every action would be carefully analyzed and dissected, each motive behind every action rationalized. And this is not what I want to happen so allow me to put down what happened today.

It's been a long long day. Coming from two consecutive long weekends, I was feeling a bit under the weather today. You know Monday blues. But I was actually pleasantly surprised at how fast the day went and how sort of productive it was. I was able to accomplish most of the tasks I set for today. For something that started so bleak, the day looked pretty great.

I was about to go home and I was going about the last few tasks on my checklist. Last item on the list: Have something signed then freedom awaits: I can leave. But I guess things don't always turn out the way they seem. Signee didn't want to sign right away. Had some questions that I didn't foresee and wasn't able to answer. No biggie. I understand Signee's point. If signed, the document will bear his stamp of approval and he will have to know why and what it is for. I'll just ask Other Person the questions Signee has, sort everything out, get it signed.

However, I was unable to get a satisfactory answer from Other Person so Signee refused to sign. There's no need he says. This would prolly have been all right except for the fact that production has already started and is actually in the finishing stages. There's no way I can hold or stop the production. What to do? What to do? I am in deep shit.

Thankfully, BigLilSis was able to help me. She asked Other Person about the things Signee wanted to know. Although the answer was still the same, at least Other Person elaborated and explained why, but still the reason given was not satisfactory.

BigLilSis and I approached Signee together to sort things out. For the most part, I was at a loss for words. There was nothing I could do but keep silent and I am just so thankful that BigLilSis was able to talk on my behalf.

A couple of hours later and a bundle of frayed nerves after, Signee eventually signed it after my apology.
I guess it is my fault that I didn't ask why. That I didn't align everyone with what is happening. That I pushed forward assuming that it's okay to spend. That I didn't seek Signee's consent.

Lesson learned. There's still a lot more I wanted to write, my reflections on the matter, my insights and realizations, but it's probably best left for the next session.

PS It's been a long time since I wrote in this blog. Now, no more excuses to not do it anymore.

Penthouse

So much, and yet so little has changed. To the untrained eye, the place looks just like how it did back when I was a kid, back when I came up during the summers to water the plants and to check on how the flowers were doing, back when there was still Arvie to visit.

This place probably has been the only constant throughout my life and it strikes me that the last time I have been up here was so many years ago. Funny how a place can contain so many memories--some even way back from my kindergarten days.

I don't remember much of my childhood--only that I spent most of it in my Ama's, but visiting this place today reminded me of those times I would come up here with my Aunt to enjoy the night breeze and to gaze at the stars--while eating some ube ice cream. Yeah. Seems like ages ago.

I also used to come up to practice Intrams dance routines. I used to come up here to write. I also used to come up here to visit Arvie..to draw..to play with my cousins. It is so much connected to who I am now, and it almost seems as if it is a kaleidescope of all the emotions and thoughts I have felt during the times I were here.

If a single place were to define me, then I guess this would be it.

Exchange Gifts

Braving long lines at infamously inefficient government offices (kinda reminds me of a certain administrative office in Ateneo) is not exactly one of my favorite past-times. Waking up early in the morning to wait in line with hundreds of people in the scorching heat while the time passes by oh-so-excruciatingly slow...I'd rather sleep in on any given day. I wasn't looking forward to this at all. But then again, if I don't do it, who will?

Being the eager beaver that I am, I already went ahead and got some requirements ahead of time. I don't have a clue about the process involved in securing an NBI Clearance or what I need to bring. But most important of them all, I had no idea where to get it! Which is normal. My knowledge of government offices equals zilch and usually I just turn to Google Maps for a quick answer. Nor did my mom. Now that wasn't a good sign at all.

Thank God my dad knew someone who knew someone where they issue these clearances and knows these processes. Aren't connections wonderful? We took the LRT and we were with a couple of policemen in uniform. I didn't know why they had to be in uniform--for maximum shock value, I guess? It was quite an experience. I felt so bad-ass having these "bodyguards" while walking around the crowded streets of the metro. (so that's how it feels) But then again, I also felt weird. If you know me, I was never one to make a splash; I prefer to be noticed by being subtle and not being over-the-top. Yet here I was, walking with two uniformed men with people gawking and staring. Right.

Anyway, the whole process took less than 2 hours, including travel time. Which is really really fast considering that government offices are usually full of people even during the early morning. But the thing that struck me the most was that it was my first time to witness "exchange gifts" not during Christmas season, if you know what I mean.

The office personnel processed my documents in a jiffy-no lines, no waiting. And in return, I think he got a free ride home or something. All throughout the process, personal favors were called in, names were dropped, calls made, and cell phone numbers exchanged! I have never encountered this before and needless to say, I was flabbergasted. Is this how it works in the "real world"?

I hope not! 'Cause if it is, then life would be just a contest of who knows who, who knows the most people, who's the most well-connected rather than life being the way you make it--through hard work, perseverance, and dogged determination. 'Cause if it is, merit just goes straight out the door. The day that life ceases to be a meritocracy will be a sad sad day for us.

Call me idealistic and naive, but I don't think I'll be availing of this "service" anytime soon. But I wonder, will that even make a difference? Will a lone person making a personal choice affect the system that has grown its roots through centuries of practice? Some say that I'm stupid for not using whatever tools are at my disposal. But I beg to differ. A very wise person once said, "Be part of the change you want to see in others; otherwise you're just part of the problem." I'm sure it was somebody famous who said this, but I forgot who it is. I don't want to be accused of plagiarism, now do I? :)

Side note: I wonder how many "favors" and perks some officials enjoy.

How A Phone Call Changed My Life

Last week, I got a call from an unknown number on my cell phone. And like any other recent graduate, I know better than to ignore it. For all I know, it could be the opportunity of a lifetime. And so it was. One of the companies I so wanted to get into called me for an interview--scheduled the next day! Kind of abrupt I would say, but I'd be a fool to let an opportunity like this go to waste. As people say, you never know what is on the other side. 

The next few days were a blur. HR interview the next day and panel interview the next. I wasn't used to the application process being so quick. Usually it was the other way around, I'd have to practically beg the HR person to give me updates on my application. But this time it was different, and true enough, a couple of days later, BAM! they offered me a job. 

It wasn't a no-brainer, but it wasn't a hard decision to make either. It was a good company with a reputable program that would enable me to go places in a few years. Plus the compensation they offered me wasn't too shabby either--not too much, but not bad for a first job. And although I have never been one to go with intuition, when I stepped in the office for the very first time for the interview, I just felt that I was supposed to be there, like I belong there, like the feeling I got four years ago during the Ateneo Open House. 

And so three days ago, I signed away two years of my life! Funny how a few strokes of the pen in my hand, a couple of signatures here and there, can determine my future. And thus ends my being unemployed. Goodbye sem breaks, goodbye spontaneous beach trips, goodbye bum life, goodbye insanely long summer vacations and hello income taxes, hello overtime, hello rejoicing over holiday economics.

Even though I was ecstatic about landing this job, and believe me, I am very grateful that I did, somewhere in the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder if I had made the right decision. As one of my favorite theology professors once said, "In saying yes, we also say no." However, there is always a but after every statement, and true enough, the very same professor continues to say that, "in choosing we simultaneously become capable of imposing our will on an uncertain world in the sense that we get a say in how our lives play out, and that by doing so we become most fully ourselves. It enables us to grow and mature and become capable of turning possibilities into actuality."

I kinda like the sound of that. That amidst the uncertainty of life, I am still capable of being able to make mere possibilities a reality, of being able to live out my dreams while I still can, of youthful optimism, of home, and of the confidence that someday I will be able to strike out and make it big.

And who knows, maybe someday I just might!